i'm finally back. all of a sudden, i just sensed this force that urged  me to do this again.

as of now, we're on summer vacation. it sucks because it's almost over in a few weeks. we come back to school on august 25th.

so i just came from this summer camp called SECOP (science and engineering community outreach program). it lasted for about two weeks. it was great. i had a blast. i met lots of new people. i learned lots of new things too. due to SECOP, i started having a new interest - interest in a person. LOL. at first, i didn't really like him not until i saw his personality. i just started liking him, then it led to flirting with him. i have strong feelings for him even though

 

ugh fuck this shit.. nevermind. i swear. ugh.

Posted by caLilOvE on July 27, 2005 at 09:30 PM | 2 cares for caRina
i hate my life.. why does it have to be like this? why can't i just enjoy my life?
Posted by caLilOvE on May 3, 2005 at 03:55 PM | do u even care?
this is nikki's persuasive speech. i really like it. lol. tell me what you think, although i know it's only nikki who leaves comments. LOL.

Have you ever encountered a person who always shows discontent with his or her life? Or maybe a person who always complains about everything? Well, I did not only meet one person. I have already came across these type of people. I consider showing discontent as a sin because it is a sign of not showing gratitude to God. It is also a sign of showing disrespect to your parents because our parents are our providers. They provide us with our basic needs and almost with everything that we have. Although sometimes, a lot of people abuse this to the extent that they would do anything like crying and whining to get what they really want. An example of this situation is when a 15 year old girl, who has her whole closet filled with shoes, asks her mother to buy her a new pair of shoes. Her mother refuses to get her one. She then starts to cry just for the pair of shoes. What she doesn't realize is that, there are other people that she doesn't even see who don't even have any feet to fit in any shoe. And of course, it is better if you weren't able to buy the shoes that you wanted than not to have any feet at all. How can you even walk without your feet? Surely, if you had your feet, you can walk without those nice fancy shoes. If you notice, these kind of people are ubiquitous. But why don't you ask yourself if you are one of these people? There are so many people who are so blind, blinded by the things that they do not have. These things that disable them to see other things are not even a necessity. They will not provide you joy and happiness. For example, money is the most prominent object that covers up one's vision. Money cannot provide you the unconditional love your parents have for you. Our parents are the greatest people that I can think of right now and I guess forever. They make innumerable sacrifices that we don't even see and show appreciation for just to give us the best that we can have. They are working so hard trying to give us the life that they never had. They are always there willing to do anything just to see the smile on our faces. A lot of times, we take all of these for granted.
Many of us do not see a lot of things that are right in front of our faces that we should be thankful for. Some people think that they have the worst life ever, and then they think that it's not that bad until they put themselves in a scenario wherein they will see actual people who are in worse situations than they are. We do not need a lot of money, shoes, clothes, purses, cars to be able to survive. I am a living proof of this example. I may not have a lot of these objects, but obviously I am here right now standing in front of you, alive! We always search for things that we already have. It is us who always make the simple things so complicated. If you're so blinded with the things that you don't have it means that you're taking the simple things in life for granted. Things that you don't have are just mere wants that could be reachable if you'll work hard for it but i don't think those things are worthy to the point it would hinder you to appreciate the simple things in life. There is nothing bad in dreaming and hoping just don't go beyond the point where you'll forget who you really are.
We are so focused on the negative side of our lives that we tend to forget about the simple things in life - our family and friends. Look around you, look at the person you're sitting next to. Take a minute and just thank them for being your friend. When you get home, show your family some appreciation and thank them for being the simple things in your life that enables your survival. And lastly, don't forget to thank God for everything that you have.
Posted by caLilOvE on March 7, 2005 at 10:24 PM | 2 cares for caRina
gosh, im so tired. last night, i went to knotts. tonight, i went to.. yeah i did. lol.

you do not and never will show a little appreciation.
get over it, please. do it for your own good.
Posted by caLilOvE on March 6, 2005 at 03:10 AM | do u even care?
if there's anyone reading this, please respond to this question.

how can you open up your eyes to see the simple things in life that surrounds you if you're so blinded with the things that you don't have?


gosh, it seems like i'm never content with my life.
Posted by caLilOvE on March 2, 2005 at 09:48 PM | 2 cares for caRina
i just hate the same old problems that i experience everyday. it seems like it's never going to end. hopefully not. it's just tiring. i don't want to deal with it anymore, but that's impossible unless it all ends.

i got my report card today and my grades are so bad compared to before. gosh. i need to work hard enough again to get that 4.0 back. i guess it's also because of all the things that has been happening lately. it's bugging me to much which causes me to do other things that really entertains me (ex. tv, myspace), so i can forget about it for a short period of time. but i don't know! whatever.

CONCENTRATION

is my goal.


another thing that has been bugging me lately is this thing. i really want to have that specific thing so bad, but it doesn't look possible to have it. it does look possible, but it looks hard.

i want to have you..

Posted by caLilOvE on March 1, 2005 at 10:42 PM | do u even care?
for such a long time now, i've been wanting this something or shall i say someone? well yeah whatever, whichever one makes sense. i don't think it's so hard to get. so why don't i have one if it's not hard to get? I DON'T KNOW! when i want something, i always can't have it! i just hate it when that happens. i understand i can't have everything i want, but how come almost everyone has what this particular thing that i've been wanting? i don't know if the problem is with me or i really have no idea! sometimes, it gets me mad. that actually is a sign of impatience. i know i am rushing it, but what can i do? i just want to have one. i get so jealous seeing everybody having that thing. how come a lot of people have it and i don't? that's just sad.

now what exactly am i talking about? A BOYFRIEND! gosh, i know! i'm so desperate. but what can i do? i get really jealous. i just miss that feeling when you have someone with you that makes you so happy. i've been looking for that person but obviously i didn't find any. if ever i found one, it can never work. it's either they're not interested with you or they're not interested with you. THAT is SAD! lol. but it's all right, i guess i just need to be patient. BUT MAN, when will it come?!

i wish it will be here in front of my face when i wake up tomorrow or something. but no, it sounds impossible.
Posted by caLilOvE on February 27, 2005 at 01:28 AM | 1 cares for caRina
i had fun today! it was really really fun! so we didn't have classes today, but we needed to go to school for career day. it was really interesting. some speakers came to talk to us about their professions. i went to three. two of them were about nursing, and the other is about an attorney. i really learned a lot and i am now more interested in nursing. i guess i want to be a nursing educator. i didn't really know that there were a lot of fields in nursing that you can work on. you can be a nurse and not have to deal with patients which sounds brilliant to me! lol.

after school, my friends and i went to downtown to go look for something to wear for the dance that i just came from. it was really fun! hahaha! it's such a long story to explain how funny it was.

so i went to the dance! there weren't a lot of people, but i had fun though because a lot of my friends were there! i really enjoy dancing so much! dancing is a way for me to express who i really am as a person. dancing allows me to be myself! it's really cool to dance. :D
Posted by caLilOvE on February 26, 2005 at 12:42 AM | do u even care?
i just wish i get in the jv team! that's all i'm asking for. i just want to join this for the sake of losing weight and learning something new. haha! it sounds funny, but it's true.

this morning, i had a mini presentation for my english class. i made an essay about this satirical play and book called the vagina monologue. i really think it's funny. please give me some comments. lol

The play, The Vagina Monologue, by Eve Ensler is an example of a satire. This play talks about vaginas in different categories based on the circumstances they are in. Also, the characters in this play talk from the vagina perspective. Moreover, Eve Ensler is an activist and a feminist who goes around the world promoting opposition to women abuse. She based the play on the interviews she had done with the women around the world. For example, there is a vagina in the play that was in the Bosnian war and she said, “They took turns for seven days smelling like feces and smoked meat. They left their dirty sperm inside me and I became a river of poison and puss.” Also, there are questions in the play like, “If your vagina could sing, what song would it sing?” Because The Vagina Monologue discusses the inequalities that women go through in an indirect manner, the play is satirical. Instead of just straightly delivering the message in a literal way, Eve Ensler makes use of vaginas as a clever way or a ridiculous way to represent the subject of the message to grab the attention of all the people. Vaginas are being used as representations since women have them and this is what the whole thing is about, women.

The underlying message in this play is brought out to everyone, not only women but also the men because the message is not a localized conflict; the message is a universal conflict. The conflict here is all the women who are victims of domestic violence. Wherever you are, there must be a victim of domestic violence. This play is not trying to make fun of vaginas, but it is trying to empower women through vaginas. In almost all the cultures or let’s just say around the world, men are superior and women are inferior. This is an ongoing practice that we have been brought up to. Eventually, we get use to it and we learn to accept it. We do not even bother to do something about it. All these are not right for us to do. Just like vaginas, women are very precious; thus, it must be respected and taken care of. Rape is just one way of showing disrespect. And again, rape is nothing new to us. It is very ubiquitous. In an interview with Eve Ensler, she tells a story about women’s bodies being sold. Older women goes around $100 and younger women being more expensive goes around $200. This is just another horrendous way of showing disrespect. Eve Ensler herself was a victim of domestic violence. The sad truth is that it was her father who abused her.
Posted by caLilOvE on February 23, 2005 at 09:46 PM | do u even care?
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